Letting Go of Resentment & Anger

Another day, another WISE lesson.
Here is a great story about holding on to resentment:
Two monks are walking down the road. They arrive at a muddy stream crossing, and a well-dressed woman declares without introduction, “Don’t just stand there. Someone carry me across this mess.“
Without pause, the older monk lifts her across. She says nothing, not even a thank you.
The two monks walk all day. The whole time, the younger one stews in his mind—How could he pick her up? We’re not supposed to touch women, or even talk to them. And she was so rude, someone should say something to her, she didn’t deserve our help.
Finally, arriving at the inn for dinner, he can’t hold himself back. “What were you thinking?” he asks his friend. “She was nasty, and you broke the rules, and she didn’t even say thank you.”
The older monk smiles gently and replies. “Wow, I put that woman down hours ago, but you’ve been carrying her all this time!”

There are actions  that you can take to acknowledge feelings of resentment/anger in more healthy ways:

1. Practice identifying and allowing yourself to feel the underlying emotions — such as hurt or fear. Accept those feelings.

2.  Take a pause. Be aware of your anger and resentment. Observe it. Allow it to simply be. Hold it.

3. Identify how you could have contributed to the situation that you are feeling resentful about. Be aware the people (including yourself).

4. Try expressing your anger and resentment in other ways. Share these feelings with safe, supportive people that you trust.

5.  Practice meditation, breathing and ways to calm yourself.

6. As challenging as it may be,  try and find compassion (even empathy)  with those who you feel anger and resentment for.

And on a last note,  you don’t have to like what is happening in the present, or in the past, but you do need to accept it. This is for your mental wellbeing.

Acceptance will free yourself from holding on to the anger and resentment, allowing you to be more Mindful and at peace.

Your Coach,